Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints often quote 1 Nephi 11:17 which says, "I know that [God] loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things." We do not always understand why certain things happen, but we can be sure that God is in control and that He loves all of His children.
Yesterday morning I saw an article saying the Church had stated that children of homosexual couples are not eligible for membership in the Church. I must admit, I was surprised at first, and didn't believe it was real. I was sure it was just some anti-Mormon rhetoric, taking something that Church leaders said out of context as usual. After doing some checking however, I found it to be accurate.
I thought about it for a little while. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that my first impressions of controversial topics are seldom reliable, and that judgement shouldn't be passed until I've taken the time to understand the issue from both sides. Now as of this writing the announcement is still only a couple days old, so I won't be attempting an in depth look at this time. But I do feel I've come to understand the decision a little bit, and just wanted to share a few of my thoughts.
Is the Church closing its doors to children of same-sex couples?
No. The only thing this statement makes clear is that children of same-sex couples are not to receive the ordinances of a baby blessing or baptism until they are no longer living with said parents and have demonstrated that they understand and agree with the Church's stance on same-sex relationships. This does not mean that such children are not allowed to participate in Church meetings, activities, or organizations, nor that they should be treated with any less love or respect than those who are members. Jesus loves all children regardless of their membership in the Church, and we cannot doubt that those striving to follow His example will do the same.
Is the Church saying that to be baptized these children need to disown their parents?
Of course not. They must disavow the practice of same-sex marriage, but that doesn't mean they must stop loving their parents or even stop considering them to be their parents. The Church has made it clear time and time again that even when we do not condone a person's actions, we must still love and be kind to that person.
But why would the Church exclude those children from baptism?
First and most importantly, contrary to what those who are less familiar with or openly hostile towards the Church or its doctrines have implied, it isn't to make said children some kind of "second class citizens." Rather, it is to ensure that before they are baptized, they are prepared to make the accompanying baptismal covenant. Baptism is more than just a family tradition or initiation into a new social circle. It is a covenant. A promise or contract if you will between the individual and God. If an individual is not ready to keep their end of that promise, they should wait until they are ready before being baptized. I recall several times on my own mission when we decided or were advised by our leaders to postpone the baptism of an investigator until they demonstrated they were ready to keep the commandments, which is an important piece of that covenant.
Okay, if the baptismal covenant is so important, why are other children baptized so young in the first place?
This question deserves its own discussion. But the short answer is because in the case of young children, it is their parents' responsibility to teach them the commandments and the importance of keeping their covenants. In fact, that is the reason the Lord instituted families in the first place: to be the best setting for the teaching of Gospel principles so we wouldn't have to learn them all by ourselves, but have a loving environment in which we can learn and grow together. Through no fault of their own, the children of homosexual couples are not being taught those correct principles. By their actions, if not by their words, the parents of those children are teaching them that homosexual behavior is acceptable, which is contrary to the Church's teachings.
If these things are really the case, then why didn't the Church just say so?
I can't say for certain. But there's been speculation that this was never intended to be a public announcement, but rather simply making official what has long been the advice given to local Church leaders. Perhaps the Church will make a statement soon, clarifying some of the misinformation that has arisen from it being made public. (Edit: The Church just released a video interview with Elder Christofferson which addresses these and other questions. It is an excellent source of clarification that I recommend everyone watch: http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/handbook-changes-same-sex-marriages-elder-christofferson) In the meantime, we should avoid jumping to conclusions, and always, always treat everyone with love and respect regardless of their opinions or upbringing.
In closing, I'm aware that this and other decisions of the Church have caused much anger and sadness to many both within and outside of the Church. If that is the case with you, I just wanted to say that while I stand with the Church and its teachings, I am sorry for your pain. I know this is a deeply sensitive and personal issue for so many people. I love and care about you all, and I testify that God does too. As in all things, please strive for understanding. I have hope that things will all work out for those who do.
The preceding statements include my own opinions and understanding. While I believe them to be true, those sections that simply reflect my opinion should not be viewed as official Church doctrine. I'll try to update this post with official and relevant sources when/if they become available.
